The British Are Coming!
by numarg
Summary: Roach has hardly ever seen Ghost without his balaclava, it's like the 8th world wonder to him. It's the 9th world wonder to successfully take the damn mask without dying in the process :D rated T for sorta bad language


:I this is very sucky, i apologize very much, yesssss there is utter fail in here. but the idea was too funny in my mind at the time to _not_ write it D: i will make edits and such later, i can only do it on the weekdays but thats ya kno... when i have school and stuff.

every character mentioned belongs to infinity ward and CoD:mw2

idea sort of mine and my friends... idk more like brain vomit with rainbows and daisies...

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><p>Roach has been staring at me for awhile... It's not normal. It's quiet abnormal actually. And unnerving. He has this... intense glare thing goin' on, ya know?<br>Anyway, he's sitting next to Mactavish, right? I'm sitting across from them both, shoveling food. It's open turkey and mashed potatoes day, and dammit all if I don't enjoy it.  
>Of course my balaclava isn't <em>on<em> my face, it's pushed up. Mactavish doesn't seem to notice anything wrong with that, nor does any other bloke in this damn team. But for some reason, Roach has taken a huge interest in my face area.

"Can I help you, Roach?" I don't care if Mactavish just looked at me as if I was a child because I was talking with my mouth full.

"Hm? Oh. No, not really." He started a bit when I spoke to him, he's really concentrating.

"You sure? There anything on my face?" To emphasize my point, I put my fork down and rubbed my face and mask, careful not to push it down again.

"No, it's the absence of something that's odd."

Confused, I crossed my arms and looked at him skeptically, his expression was dull and focused. His eyes weren't meeting mine so I can only assume he's staring at my mouth or chin.

"What, my mask? Can't a guy remove facial clothing to eat?" I hadn't realized my voice climbing in volume until the captain kicked me from under the table, I jolted and leaned forward to rub my shin, he glared at me. His look threatened me not to upset the kid, Roach was the captain's favorite, _silly me_ for asking questions.  
>Before I had time to retaliate, my mask was ripped off my head, making me lose my balance and almost land in my mashed potatoes. "WHAT THE FU-"<p>

"FINALLY! I GOT IT!" With that being said- er screamed- Roach jumped up and ran out of the mess hall.  
>I sat back up so fast I could've sworn that a bruise formed when my back hit the hard wooden chair.<br>Mactavish was staring, wide-eyed, after the youngest sergeant in Task Force 141.

Growling, I turned to the captain, "Do I have permission to get my balaclava back, Sir?" I was practically fuming. His little attack scared the living shit out of me. That does not rest well with my manly conscience, or the loss of my only balaclava.

"...Permission granted, Ghost." As I stood up, I guess he noticed the raw blood lust in my eyes or something like that, because he warned, "Do NOT hurt him, Ghost."

"...Yes Cap'n." I knew he hated it when I called him that, but before he could reprimand me I was already half way to the double doors of the cafeteria.  
>'That little shit has gone too far.'<p>

Slamming both the doors open, I looked around the hallway furiously, "ROACH, GIT YER SCRAWNY ASS BACK HERE!"

I heard an excited man-squeal to my left and saw the kid hunched over slightly at the end of the hall, he turned and looked at me giggling. The little pest was _wearing_ my mask. Snarling I stormed over towards him. I'm positive I looked like hell, seeing as thought he pulled my friggin' mask off my head and possibly messed up my hair in the process. He gave another man-squeal and broke out into a sprint down the other hall right around the corner, all the while screaming his little head off, "THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!"

"CUT THAT SHIT OUT, ROACH! GIVE ME THE GODDAMN BALACLAVA!"

"MWAHAHAHA NEVER!"

"I PROMISE NOT TO BREAK YOUR LEGS. YOUR ARMS HOWEVER, AREN'T INSURED." I took off after him immediately, and damn. The kid was pretty damn fast. He was a maniac, I swear honest to god. He was _laughing_ while running at what I'm sure was 20 miles per hour. I was already huffing. As soon as I got within 2 feet, I lunged. Wrapping my arms around his torso, I leaned all of my weight in to bring him down. I let out a sharp growl as _I_ landed on my back.

The little bastard managed to turn us in mid-fall so that he landed on top of me. He wasn't heavy but he wasn't a sack of feathers either. I wheezed and squeezed him tighter when I felt him struggle.

"Owowowoww Jesus, Ghost!" He whined. Yes, I mean that he _whined_. Fucking kid...

"You -_wheeze_-sonnuva -_wheeze_-bitch! That fucking hurt!" I rolled us over and sat on my calves straddling his waist so he wouldn't get away if he had the balls to try. He grumbled something that I didn't catch, then realized his face was planted on the floor. I shifted up a bit to give him room to roll onto his back then promptly sat back down. He squeaked.  
>I gave him a triumphant smile and crossed my arms, waiting.<p>

"...Uhh...Can I help you, Sir?" He asked innocently.

I snorted, "Yeah, you can give me back my DAMN MASK." I reached down and hooked my fingers under the hem of the mask. Little did I know that the little punk was ticklish there. He started giggling and squirming, which made my rescue mission much more difficult.

"Urgh, sit still!"

"Hahahaa! S-stop it G-ghost! That tickles!" His face was beet red from all the laughing. Mine was from all the effort to stay on top of him and getting my mask back.  
>I got my mask half way up his face and then he stopped laughing. I froze and glared at him, threatening him to do anything.<br>His eyes looked like they were staring straight into my soul, it was kind of creepy.

"Well , are ya gonna take it back or are you gonna kiss me?" He snorted, I hadn't realized he was counting the seconds of the stare down. And no I didn't blush when he said that, if anything _he_ did. I grumbled and started again with pulling my mask off his face.

Roach's attention was diverted over my shoulder, he looked severely confused, then scared, then was about to yell. I was about to turn around to see what he was freaked about but was so rudely shoved. I opened my mouth to yell at my attacker but found I couldn't make a noise.

The bastard behind me shoved me into a kiss with Roach... against my will. I was shocked, ya see. Our mouths were pressed pretty tightly together, both of us had our eyes open the whole time.

I blinked. He blinked.

No one made a move.

Except the person behind us. As soon as I heard the most annoying laughter I jolted up and whipped my head in their general direction. Meat, wearing the biggest shit-eating grin I've ever seen.

How did I not know?

"Why you sonnuva-"

"BAHAHAHAHA THAT WAS FRIGGIN' PRICELESS. GHOST AND ROACH SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"MEAT I WILL KILL YOU!"

He immediately ran off in the opposite direction at the speed of light. I turned to look down at Roach, he was completely flushed.

"Uh... you alright, Bug?" I scratched at my nose and shifted so I wasn't sitting on his waist anymore. I'm damn positive it was a set up.

"I...I uh..." Stuttering... oh great, don't tell me the kid is scarred for life.

"Ya see this is what happens when you mess with my balaclava. You stay away from it, and this won't happen." I told him simply. He sat up and leaned on his elbows, thinking. I finally had gotten my mask back but it was in my hand behind Roach's back. I saw him glance down at it, then glance up at me. Then down again.

"Roach what are you- Wah? HEY!" The little prick stole my mask again.

"If that's going to happen whenever I steal your mask, you can expect it to go missing quite often!" He gave me a quick peck on the lips and dashed down the hallway after Meat, giggling.

Okay. This time I blushed. A lot. The kid was annoying as hell and caught me off guard. But that doesn't stop the fact that Roach is a pretty good looking kid. Okay, maybe I can get used to that.  
>I grinned and got up, slowly striding down the hall after him.<p> 


End file.
